If You Hit A Wall, Swim. Fly!

Have you hit a wall lately in your life? Maybe at your J.O.B., in your marriage, with a friend??

I did. Four short years ago, during a necessary, common surgery, a doctor accidentally removed the majority of my left ureter. (They were attempting to remove my left ovary, but made a mistake.) It was devastating. Life changing. What should have been an outpatient surgery, turned into a half month stent, in a hospital. Three surgeries, a dozen procedures, and top physicians couldn’t repair the damage that had been done. My body was, is, and forever, will be broken. I spent the first three years mostly recovering from my latest surgery or procedure. Then, I received the devastating news from Mayo Clinic, that the pain, infections, and possible kidney failure were just going to be part of my life. There was noting they could do. The damage was done and it was not repairable.

My Brick Wall.

I gave in to the idea that I had lost myself on that surgical table. I was hopeless… depressed. I felt like a giant taker. No longer a functioning contributor to my family or society. I believed I had noting to give. I fell prey to the lies that I was worthless, unnecessary, and unneeded. Just existing was hard.

The details of my recovery are another story, and one I am anxious to tell, but not today.

I will say, that as a part of my recovery, I started trying to create things to give to others. I wanted so much to bring JOY to others. I started making small gifts and it evolved into making jewelry. Then…Sarahfide was born. I had learned to SWIM.

Sarahfide has become so important to me. It is my pride and JOY!

Why?

First, it has helped me see my value. Even if I didn’t have Sarahfide, I am no longer blinded by the lies that I am worthless. I have an amazing husband and three beautiful children and I contribute to their lives, Just By Being Me.

Secondly, I’m ready to contribute. Not only do I want to pick myself up and live, but I want to thrive!!! I want to contribute to my church, my family and friends, and to my home. Two years ago, we sold our home. We couldn’t afford to live there and pay my rising medical expenses, with my declining health. After selling our home, we moved into an old property owned by my parents. It is a mobile home, made in the Seventies. This is where we now lay our heads but it has never felt like our home. We are grateful for our community, our family but I am ready to stand on my own two feet. My dream, my husbands dream, AND our three girls pray that Sarahfide will be successful enough to buy a home of our own. Not new… not large… just ours.

So, you can see, there is much to be done. The wall is still there. Going that way is not an option for me. Daily, I struggle with the consequences of this medical injury. It is not going to go away. I am leaning how to do life differently. I am now in the water and I am swimming. I have a goal, a destination, and I am determined to get there, even if I have to learn how to FLY!

No matter your dream, don’t give up. Never! Give! Up!. If you hit a wall, find another way. There is always a way around. Swim. Fly, if you have to!